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1987-04-21
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Completely unbiased review of
The Cunning Demos
By Colin of ACO
(I had to point that out seeing as it isn't really mentioned in the demo...)
Review by Wheee the fibble.
First, may I assure you that my having screens and having helped put together
the demo will not interfere with the review in any way whatsoever. At all.
The review will not give marks for the screens. This is because I have an
extreme dislike of "competitive coding" and the whole "my code's faster than
your code" idea that's grown up over the past few years. I will also put some
"insider" type info (admittadly sprinkled with the occasional fib) about the
screens. And, I will put down a few words at the end about the extensions used
in the demo.
Anyway, in case you've been living on the moon (or in Muirhead - Ho ho) I will
just explain a little about The (oh so super) Cunning Demos. It is intended to
show to the world of assembly/C/whatever programmers that it is possible to
write a decent demo with STOS. Many others have tried it, but most (with a
couple of exceptions) were pretty duff. But, this is not the (total) fault of
the language itself. It has to be said that many of the people who are trying
to code demos have no talent whatsoever. This problem is not just limited to
STOS of course, it's just that the results of no skill don't look so bad in
68000 as they do in STOS. There are a very, very large number of people for
instance, who are in groups (or more usually and more crapply "crews") whos
sole occupation is copying other peoples cracks onto a disk and putting an
intro on it. The sign of the particularly bad ones are when they have just one
intro, which they can never change as they don't know how it works, with the
now famous scroller/picture/chip music combo (you can usually tell by pressing
the number keys above the valid choices and seeing if it still tries to load
something...). Anyway, STOS has come in for a great deal of critisism for
being crap. A lot of this has to do with those sorts of people who copy a
scroll routine from a magazine and make up endless intros for their great
menus... But, if you think about it, STOS isn't the worst in the "large number
of crap people using it" stakes. For sheer numbers of crap people it has to be
68000 which beats them all. Who has never spoken to someone who is "learning
assembly" or even worse, "learning Devpac"? And do these people ever get
anywhere? No. Because they're crap. It's just that a shit scroller in 68000
looks a lot better than a shit scroller in STOS... Anyway, on with the
review...
Ok, there are about 20 screens on the demo (not including the intro, main menu
and hidden screen). So, if I miss any out, I apologise... All the screens go
at 50hz unless i state otherwise.
The intro.
Written By ACO
The intro has three parts. The first is a nice overscan picture (which,
annoyingly enough, has stopped working on my ST along with all other overscan
since I got my 2.5 meg upgrade... worrying...) of a test card. Press space to
get onto the second part which is a very amusing sheep, which bounces very well
indeed (that was MY idea). Then you get onto the scroller/picture/soundtracker
part with all the greets and things. The soundtracker routine is NOT Francois
one. It is a MUCH better one which plays normal amiga mods at 8khz but still
sounding clearer and louder and at a fraction of the proccessor time of the
official STOS one. Insider info (1): The scroller says "YAA BOOS GO TO"
followed by a big list of people. This is not a "fuckings" type list! It's the
normal greetings! (honest)
(Hey, you get to see my loader now. That was MY idea as well)
The Main Menu (da da daaaaa)
Written by ACO.
Well, what can I say? Stunning? Staggering? Blummin great? You control a
(vast) car sprite which zooms smoothly up a increadibly brilliant scrolling
countryside map type affair (insider info (2): The map is in fact based on
ACO's mome town of Muirhead, which is in the countryside). The landscape
covers the whole screen and a large scroller moves over the top. The whole
thing goes at fifty frames a second, and combined with the top quality graphics
(even the brake lights on the car work! Insider Info (3): That was MY idea).
Also, please note that it does NOT scroll too fast. Any insinuations to the
contrary should be placed ontop of the pile of insinutations that have already
been made about it.
The Hidden Screen (you don't get to see the loader when you find this screen.
How rubbish).
Written by ACO (what a busy fellow)
A nice big sprite, a flashing VU meter (word?) and two lovely fluffy scrollers.
Oh, and some music of course (Insider Info (4): So does the main menu, and I in
no way forgot to mention that before... except perhaps in the true type of
way).
The ACO screens:
The Writing On The Wall (Insider Info (5): Colin spelled "WRITING" wrong in the
screen - ho ho)
This screen is Colins (ACO that is) answer to STORMS challenge to beat their
screen in the Cr Blimly Demoo (Insider Info (6): I did not spell that wrong
just to get back at them for spelling my name icorrectly in their main menu).
Well, we've got the whole screen scrolling round, two large scrollers, digidrum
music and the top and bottom border removed. Blimey. Please note that screens
with border removal don't work after you've been in one with digidrum music!
"Behold - the can of tizer is now completely flat" (PSC2) will completely crash
if you've been in a screen with this type of music and the borders will remain
active in this screen... so you've been warned...
Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin:
A couple of nice scrollers (with the Macintosh font) and some little sprites.
Insider Info (7): Patrick's dad supplied the original drawing of the font and
then Colin copied it. How very interesting.
A Minamalistic Sex Orgy:
If you've ever seen "A Cannibalitic Def Orgy" by The Lost Boys, then imagine it
withough a soundtracker, but with normal music instead and that's what this
screen is like. If you haven't seen that screen, then it's as if you have four
mini screens, one in each quarter of the screen. A damn fine peice of code
anyway.
A Dance, a Song and a Merry Jape:
A big scroller, the full height of the screen) with some rasters (which make it
look like 25hz). Insider Info (8): Big Scrollers are very dull.
The Joker:
"You could have knocked me down with a fevver" as our national poet may have
said. Bloody amazing graphics make this screen look, well, bloody amazing.
Three "joker" (from batman you understand) heads act as VU meters at the bottom
of the screen with a nice scroller at the top and a cute little sprite bouncing
around ontop of everything.
Green Jelly:
Tons of bloody scrollers (about 25 exclamation mark), all disting horizontally
with more moving over the top of them and some sprites rippling to and fro as
well. Bloody Ace. Insider Info (9): Colin has eighteen arms.
My donkey can carry only one suitcase:
Hmmm, I wonder what this screen was... I think I'll have to have a quick look
at the demo... Back in a bit. Ok, this screen is one of those one's which
build up over a while as you watch. It starts of with a really jerky scroller
and some STOS music playing. It gradually builds up until the scroller's
bouncing up and down (and moving smoothly) witha nice sprite going around, some
count zero music and the occasional picture fading in and out. Pretty nice.
Get off my land:
Another big scroller. The font is made up of 3-plane balls , and over half the
hight of the screen. There's another little 16*16 scroller above it and it's
great.
Metropolis:
This screen has lots and lots of parallax scrolling with some nice music and a
scroller at the bottom of the screen. Insider info (10): This screen was on the
original Cunning Demos... If you can get a copy, see how much the screen's
improved since then...
The Guestscreens:
The Road to Wigan Pier by Neil of Flair:
Lots of nice sprites (and I mean lots) moving around with a nice scroller.
Note that this is not a many sprite demo as such - the line of sprites does
have an end...
Behold - The Can of Tizer is Completely Flat By Wheee the fibble (me):
A little 3D sprite type affair which I never really got round to finishing. It
has two parts, the 3D sprite part and a little scroller type interlude. Please
don't press space until the music has started! Otherwise it will probably reset
the machine... Incedently, the sprites look like they're going at 25hz, but
they ain't (at least they wern't last time I timed it). Insider info (11): I
really hate this screen.
Knickity Knackity Noo by Wheee the fibble (me again):
Hmmm, the only screen of mine I still like. It's a little hard to describe, so
I won't really try.
Earthmoving by The Dentrassi:
A bloody nice screen is this. There is a pretty big scroller bouncing around
with a piano keyboard at the bottom acting as a VU meter. If you press the
up/down cursor keys you scroll the whole screen to the top of the screen where
there is anpther scroller, some exploding points and some pointy-type writing.
Storms screen:
Two vertical (very slow moving) scrollers, a largish horizontal scroller and
two full screen moving background pictures, one vertically and one
horizontally. Pretty nice.
The Happenin' Boiz screen (I think it's got a name, but I can't remeber it):
A pretty good vectorball red-sector type screen with tons of other things going
on. It looks pretty good really, except that it goes at 25/12hz-ish, but I
think considering that most assembly screens like this do the same, I think
they can be fogiven....
Ooh, Look at all those by The Mutant:
A many-scroll type screen with ten different scrollers on the screen and lots
of flashing VU meters, the only bad thing is that it goes at 25hz. Insider info
(12): I'm getting really bored writing this doc. That's why the reviews are
getting shorter and shorter...
Networks screen (probably has a name, but again, I've forgotten):
A many-sprite screen. Use the mouse and the buttons to get an infinit number
of sprites going on the screen.
The Radioactive Hedgehogs screen (with a name):
Another many sprite screen, but with a bigger sprite. Unfortunatly it goes at
25-12hz, but the sprites and movement patterns are very nice.
GBP screen (maybe with a name, I'm not sure):
A big sprite, scrolling tiles (I think) some animating sprites and a bouncing
scroller (and maybe some other things). Pity it goes at 25/12hz.
I think there might be another screen... I apologise to whoever it was who
wrote it if I have missed your screen out...
Overall this is undoubtedly the best STOS demo ever ever ever. The screens are
all really good with excellent music and graphics in most of them.
Extensions:
Most (probably all in fact) of the screens in this demo use some assembly
"extensions" to produce the effects. The most common is "BITCOPY". This acts
like the stos command SCREEN COPY except that it allows you to copy individual
bitplanes of the screen rather than all four (as screen copy and screen$ do).
None of the screen use STOS music (I think, except for maybe Colins Donkey
screen), but use Mad Max/Count Zero music. Note that you can play these types
of music from STOS without any other assembly routines other than the music
file itself, so I would say that they couldn't really be counted as assembly
"extensions" . Insider info (12): to play mad max music try this routine:
10 reserve as work 10,30000 : bload "madmax.mus",10
20 dreg(0)=1 : call start(10)
30 repeat : call start (10)+8 : wait vbl : until inkey$<>""
40 bell : default : end
Some of the screen also use a raster extension to make the screens more
colourfull and two screens use a border-removal extension (I think it's two
anyway). The Storm screen uses a few other variations of BITCOPY to do what it
does and the Happenin' Boiz screen uses many assembly routines to do achive
it's effect including a VU-meter extension, reflection extension etc...
Hopefully in a while many of these aseembly routines will be converted into
full-blown extensions, but we'll have to wait and see...
Anyway, if you want a STOS demo which will inspire you onto bigger and better
things then The Cunning Demos is for you!
Wheee the fibble.
P.S. I'm sure that colin would want me to tell you that you can buy the source
for all of his screens, the intro and main menu from him. Get the demo to find
out more details... (oh, and my screens are available for free, if anyone wants
them... )
P.P.S If anyone out there is intersted in writing games in STOS
and you're reasonably good at coding, then please get in touch
with me. Phone me (ask for Billy) on (0389) 64820.